[Quick Tip Tuesday] Sensible Scissors

Quick Tip: Sensible Scissors

I have been using scissors to cut my pizza for years. My husband thinks I'm crazy; his family never had kitchen scissors so to him it is just "wrong". At work, we have used this since the boys were very young. It was a huge time savor to get the appropriate size food pieces for THREE boys. I still use them often for waffles, sandwiches...the possibilities are endless. I also like that the items aren't as smushy and messy, but more appealing to eat. The pair I have at work and home come apart, making it easy to wash by hand or in the dishwasher!

These are my Rachael Ray Scissors!

Buy them here.

High5 Friday: Positive Discipline for Young Children 0-3 (Part #1)

I am so excited to finally share this with you... Definitely my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE workshop at the International Nanny Association Conference in May 2010. I attended the workshop on Positive Discipline by Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, Susan Lehman, and became intrigued with the philosophy and methods. While much of this was familiar to me as a Nanny, I enjoyed seeking the details formalized and structured along with examples of each. I feel these tools are a great benefit for Nannies and parents, and can be tailored to the unique-ness of each child.

Note that the word "discipline" does not equal "punishment". Instead I think of discipline as training or teaching, which may sometimes lead to punishment.

What is Positive Discipline?

Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Based on the best selling Positive Discipline books by Dr. Jane Nelsen and co-authors Lynn Lott, Cheryl Erwin, Kate Ortolano, Mary Hughes, Mike Brock, Lisa Larson and others, it teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers, youth workers, and others).

Recent research tells us that children are “hardwired” from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches.

Jane Nelsen gives the following criteria for “effective discipline that teaches”:

FIVE CRITERIA FOR EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE

1. Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance)
2. Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)
3. Is effective long - term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
4. Teaches important social and life skills . (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
5. Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Econstructive use of personal power and autonomy.

Please visit the Website and Blog for more information!

High5: Positive Discipline Tools for Children 0-3 (Part 1)

The following are the exact words from "Top 10 Positive Discipline Tools for Children 0-3" worksheet, provided by Susan Lehman. Note that there are many tools discussed in the books.

5. Teach About Feelings

Name your child's feelings so they begin to learn about their feelings. This will also help you to make a connection with your child and allow them to feel comfortable sharing feelings when they are older because they will know you understand. You can also validate a feeling and correct an action that was a negative result of the feeling. Encourage using words for expression.

Examples:

• "You look sad. Did you get hurt?"
• "I can see that you are mad when you throw that toy. But I want to be safe, so lets hit this pillow instead"
• "That was scary, huh?"
• "You are really angry that you have to go now, but it is not OK to hit me because it hurts (rub where you were hit and make a sad face to show it hurts)
• "You really liked when he did that!"

4. Show How/Do it Together

Young children are not always capable of doing the tasks we want them to do. So make sure to take them time to teach or just do it together! Also, make sure your expectations are developmentally appropriate.

Examples:

• Young children like to "dump" things out. Then this happens you can clean up together in a fun way and they will most likely jump right in to help.
• Show your child how to treat the family cat by petting the kitty and saying "Gentle, gentle, with the kitty."

3. Eye to Eye or Touch

Make a connection with your child by getting to eye level and maybe putting a hand on their shoulder before you ask them to do or not to do something.

Examples:

• Bend down, get eye to eye, while holding his or her hands and say what you want to tell him or her.

2. Teach Calming

When your child is experiencing intense emotion, take the time to teach skills for self-soothing and calming while letting the feelings be OK. Stay with your child and model and teach different ways to calm down. Focus on calming before dealing with what happened.

Examples:

• "That must have hurt. You are really sad that you bumped your head."
• "It looks like you need to calm down. Let's go take a break together." (When a child is starting to calm down and can listen to you, you could read a book, listen to music or something else calming so they start to learn calming skills.)

1. Check Your Reaction

Young children can interpret your angry reactions as something funny or exciting and then repeat the behavior as they laugh at you. Try to be "matter of fact" in your reactions and use the moment to teach. Tone of voice and body language is key here .

Examples:

• "You grabbed my glasses. I don't like that. Can you help me put them back on?"
• "The milk sure spilt all over the place. Let's get some rags to wipe it up together."
• "When you hit your sister, it hurts her. Let's go see if she's OK."

The Positive Discipline website has great resources, including books and products specifically for preschooler, teenagers, etc. Coming soon: Positive Discipline for ADD, ADHD and Autism, finely tuned for these children. Also check out:

Tool Cards

and iPhone App

Stop back next week for Part #2 with 5 more tools and "The Wheel of Choice"!

(Read Part #2 HERE.)

[Quick Tip Tuesday] Trade Ya!

[Quick Tip] Trade ya!

The boys love their sippy cups....and who is kidding, I do too! They are so convenient to pack and take with us . They don't spill. They are even bright colors - each boy has their own - so it is easy to find. The only problem is, we can't live in sippys forever.

A year or more ago we let the boys start using open cups, daring with three 2-year-olds at one time! Two of the boys learned pretty quickly, but T transitions a little slower. He was quite comfortable with his current cup. We never forced the issue, but kept offering regularly at home and school. A few months back, I was eager for him to conquer the cup. I gave each of the boys a very small amount to drink in a small cup, once they finished that they could "trade" (new and fun vocabulary word) the empty for a their sippy! H and N would finish and cheer for their cups, and this encouraged T to slowly drink out of his cup to earn his! As he got better at his skill I would put more liquid in the cup the next time. He now feels confident to drink and rarely spills.

High5 Friday: Encouraging a Love for Reading

It's summer! One great thing about being a Nanny is that we get to experience summer break...even though it is a little different then when we were kids ourselves. As Memorial Day hits I find myself getting excited about grilling out, longer days, swimming and reading by the pool.

My first grade teacher, Mrs. Simpson, read a chapter to our class daily. I remember Beverly Cleary's Ramona series and Judy Blume's Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing and Superfudge. I can still picture her sitting on the stool in the front of the class, brown hair to her waist, pencil ski

rt, legs crossed, immersed herself in our book. While I don't pride myself in having a great memory from my childhood, this obviously affected me to be able to remember authors and books names.

In grade school, I was one of those kids that was told to read over the summer and actually did. I'd read a few school books then the rest fun. I loved anything by Shel Silversteen and still quote the poem "There's Too Many Kids in this Tub". I think I read a Babysitters Club book each week one year before moving onto the Sweet Valley High series about twins Jessica and Elizabeth. [Kind of ironic that I am a Nanny for Multiples.... did these books play a part?]

I was read to and encouraged to read at a young age. By no means am I an English expert, but I do enjoy writing about things I am excited about. This comes as a surprise to me at times, because in high school I scored average on my Reading Comprehension in standardized testing. I think I just got bored with I was told to read and write about. As an adult my love for reading has returned. My husband and I have an overflowing library and spend many date nights at bookstores. I must have a 100 books waiting to be read.

Even more than reading alone, I love reading with the boys. I like to see their simple excitement, surprise, and joy as we journey through new books. We practice different voices and tones together. We change our faces to the emotion of "The Grouchy Ladybug". We talk about how it must feel on Sunday, when "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" ate so much food on Saturday. We even act out "Little Miss Muffet" with our humongous fake spider. I love to see the knowledge they pick up as they forecast what will happen in books that we have read over and over again. Even more, I love that is together time, where we cuddle up and share special moments. I hope that as they grow they will always have this love for books, story-telling, learning, and reading.

This summer, we have begun having a set time each day to read books. While books are always available and in many rooms throughout the boys' house, this is the time of day that I pick the books that we read. Not only does it coincide with our theme weeks (can you tell we just finished "Bugs and Butterflies"), but it is focused toward life lessons and age-appropriate messages. Since starting this, I have seen such a special bonding time develop where the boys are interacting with me and each other in a positive way.

Summer is filled with active times outside in the sun, what better to follow-up that up than relaxing with a good book. Reading is relaxing, interesting, fun and good for you... no matter what your age. Maybe it is time to find a brand new excitement for reading and bring your children along in that journey. Here are some tips to heat up your summer reading!

5. Create a Plan

Decide what you goal is for each child. It may be to get through school expectations or simply continue the joy of reading. Will they read 1 book a day or 1 chapter? From that, choose a method that will work into your schedule and family specifics. For example, we are doing 15 minutes of reading, before our after quiet time. I pre-choose the books, we all sit on the couch after cleaning up. We read a few different books each day, but re-read them throughout the theme we are on. For us, timing was important. This specific time brings the boys from active play to relaxation, a great transition. Our plan is to continue daily through the month of July (and beyond), with some incentive and visual reward. For older children, another idea my be to set up reading spots in different areas of the house, set a timer and have the child go to their special spot. How fun is it to read in a dark closet with a book light? Maybe hide reading chairs (from their preschool table) around the house and they have to search for the reading chair with their name on it. Get out of the box and create something new!

4. Make Use of Resources

So many of the libraries have already begun their summer reading and book stores are offering free and discounted items! Do a little research in your area and add these incentives to the child's program. Here are some I have come across:

Cincinnati Library Summer Reading

Programs for preschool, kids, teens, and adults. . On the site there are great book ideas for all the specific ages. You can even track your reading online and qualify for prizes. At the preschool if the child reads 20 books, then qualify to win a book (along with smaller prizes at each 5 books level).

Barnes and Nobles

Download their "Passport to Summer Reading", read 8 books of your choice and get to choose a free one from their list. The prize books appear to be focused from grades 1-6, but could be set aside for younger children. You can also download an Educator kit!

Borders

You can also participate in the "Double Bog Dare You" reading program for all children 12 and under. Read 10 books, fill in the form and get a free book!

Regarding Nannies

Check out some awesome resources from their May 18 post: Summer Reading for All Ages! Including: Tackling School Reading Lists, Summer Reading Lists by Grade, Top 10 Summer, Reading Lists, Recommended Reading Lists by Age, and more! Also, check back next week as they have more to share about Summer reading!

3. Keep Progress in Sight

Create some sort of visual aid to your plan to encourage daily excitement and success. This could be a simple sticker on a calendar. Some other ideas:

• Poster with a Candy Land type road that the child could move their picture along to show progress.
• Link chain where each day the child gets to cut off a ring.
• Cut out card stock books that they can count themselves and keep track of their progress.

The possibilities are endless. Once they get to the end there is something to celebrate!

2. Get Others Involved

Reading is valuable to everyone. Why not join the fun and you chart your daily reading as well. If the children are old enough to read alone, take that time to sit with a book yourself as an example. It is unlikely that young children who keep us BUSY will see us sit down and read in front of them, but we can talk about our love for read, our favorite books, and what we are reading about. Encourage family members to play along and track their progress as well. This will encourage a love for reading! Monkey see, monkey do.

1. Celebrate

Choose something to commemorate this achievement for the child. This could be as simple as a special activity or treat. In Cincinnati, most of our Nannies work with preschool and elementary aged children. We decided to do an Ice Cream Party as a Nanny Community, called "Hot Reads, Cool Treats". After the the month of July we will meet a local restaurant on their outside, fenced patio with a quick stop for bright balloons (information will be emailed to all our local Nannies and posted on our private forum)! This is relatively inexpensive and fun. We will share our success with each other. Each talking child can say their name and favorite book with the group... to which we all can clap and cheer (as we eat ice cream)! Make a day of it and go to the participating bookstores to pick up your prizes!

Children are impressionable, let's all take the time to turn off the technology and pick up a book.

Happy Reading!

[Quick Tip Tuesday] It's a Set-up?

[Quick Tips Tuesday] It's a Set-up!

The kitchen is a gathering place for kids and grown ups alike. A few months ago I started giving the boys jobs if they were going to be in the kitchen while I am preparing a meal. Before I get busy, I will set out napkins and needed utencils on a counter near me. As they come in interested, I let them know they can help. I encourage one item at a time..."after you are finished putting the napkins on the table, you can come back and get the forks". This method works when more than one boy wants to help! Sometimes when they "help" around the house it takes longer to do our chores, but in this case they are busy helpers and the extra time lets me finish making breakfast!

High5 Friday: How to E's Your Client

I am still chewing on a lot that I heard at the INA Conference. One unexpected question was asked during the workshop "Mandated Court Reporting" with Marriage and Family Therapist, Ronald Mah. The idea has stuck with me.

"As Nannies, is your Employer a CUSTOMER or a CLIENT?"

To help us figure it out he prompted the phrase aloud, "The customer is always _____ " and let us fill in the answer. You probably answered just as we did, aloud, in unison... "RIGHT". There is a great difference between a customer in client. A client has specific expectation of the person providing them a service and usually pays accordingly. As he described this, my mind went on the tangent... babysitter vs. nanny. To me, a babysitter has a customer; she will care for the children following exact directions of the parent. It is unlikely that a sitter will provide resources or ideas in child-rearing. As nannies, we have clients. We are providing a specific value to a family. Mr. Mah, said that "A client may disagree with you, but that is what they are buying" and shared, a client may unknowingly expect "The 4 E's" which are "Education.Experience. Expertise. Ethical." I would like to expand on his ideas and add one my own...after all it is High5.

I have told many families "you get what you pay for" and I finally have the "E's" to follow-up the mantra I share. If you are looking to add to your professionalism and differentiate yourself as a nanny rather than a babysitter, think about these. They will not only help in transitioning to a new job, but also will help you to go to the next level in your current one. Your client will recognize improvement, which may help in contract/pay re-negociation and continue job security instead of it becoming stale. Developing in these 5 areas just may help you ease your client.

High5: How to E's Your Client

5. Education

Your education - whether slim or vast - shows that you have achieved goals acquiring knowledge. Attending professional conferences, finding local seminars, and even short, specific classes are impressive! There is a great deal of free or inexpensive information out there that not only is good for your brain, but can be put onto paper as tangible growth.

4. Experience

With time comes experience. Though each child is different, there are natural patterns and milestones marked by children. As you begin to recognize these patterns, your confidence will grow; your experience will benefit the family who may be new to child-rearing. If you are a new nanny just starting out, think about picking up some babysitting positions on the weekends to add to that experience.

3. Expertise

While most Nannies won't claim to be an expert, there is great wisdom with each that I've spoken with. I love to be a sponge and soak up information of situations that I have never been in. Families are the same way. They want to see that you not only know what you are talking about, but that you carry it out. I have noticed that as they progress in their careers, many nannies get into a niche: twin nanny, infant care specialist, special needs nanny, multiples nanny... even, traveling nanny. If there is something that you excel in, focus on it! Share that as you interview to set you apart from the others (and make sure your can follow-through).

2. Ethical

Honest, responsible, unselfish....just to name a few. When families look to hire someone for their family, they must have someone of the utmost character. It is essential that you make good choices for their children. Do you prove trustworthy with your words and time?

1. Excellence

This is the one that I added. I believe that we have a great amount to give, simply by doing our best. When we put our heart and desire into something it is obvious. I believe this is the "star-factor" or your the secret weapon. If you have this, your client will never want to lose you!

Today has been brought to you, by the letter "E".

[Quick Tip Tuesday] Sing 'em Clean!

The daily job of brushing teeth is never a fight, but fun! The boys know that before playing in the basement, they must brush their teeth after breakfast. They don't mind, in fact they run or skip to the bathroom stool. They each get a turn to work on their teeth, then I take over with my song. This morning H tried to sing our song as he brushed...pretty funny!

Nanny Trisha also created her own song... here are both! Simple, easy, done. And like one of my favorite Nannies says... "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun!" ~ Mary Poppins

"Brush Your Teeth"

Written by: Nanny Greta

Brush your teeth, Brush your teeth, A-B-C-D-E-F-G

Brush your teeth, Brush your teeth, H-I-J-K-LMNOP

Brush your teeth, Brush your teeth, Q-R-S-and T-U-V

Brush your teeth, Brush your teeth, W--X--Y--Zeeeeee!

"Toothbrush Song"
Sung to the tune: I'm a Little Teapot
Written by: Nanny Trisha

I'm a little toothbrush,
Look at me,
I like to brush all the teeth in your mouth,
All you have to do is open wide,
And I'll brush all the teeth inside.

As Trisha says..."The length of this song usually is enough time to get the job done. I change the last line all the time to spice it up."

High5 Friday: Ways to Reduce a Nanny's Stress

How many times have we heard, "that's, like...your job?" or "you get paid to babysit?". There is some sort of assumption that if we hang out with kids, that we have it easy. There are days where I pinch myself and feel lucky to play for a living, and then there are other days where I feel I have earned every penny that I am making. Nannies are not immune to stress.

As any mother, or Oprah, would tell you, raising kids is the most difficult, rewarding job there is on the planet. As Professional Nannies, we realize the awesome responsibility we have each day.

Nannies must adapt ourselves to the lifestyle of a family, we must juggle children, chores, and errands. It is our duty to uplift and encourage this family unit... all the while keeping a personal life of our own. We tend to be a group of givers, almost to fault. Like mothers, we will sacrifice for good of the children.

Days are long.

Adult conversations, few.

... and with it all comes some STRESS.

A 20-minute drive separates my "Nanny Hat" from my "Wife Hat". As I come in the door, I know I should be giving the best of myself to my best friend. While he never complains, I put pressure on myself to be the best and accomplish everything.

At the 2010 International Nanny Association Conference, there seemed to be an unintentional theme of "self-care". It had us thinking and collaborating about the topics of health, relaxation, eating habits and even self-defense.

Picture in your mind a large glass pitcher filled with sweet, thirst-quencing, homemade

lemonade. (I choose this because one of my little goals for the summer is to learn how to make it). You are this pitcher. As a Nanny you are pouring yourself out to children daily: sharing your experiences, your character, your knowledge, and your love. As you pour yourself out, you must be refilled with something fresh that fills you up. Everything that you have to give is because of what others and experiences have given to you. It is a continuous cycle. The more refreshed you are the more you have to give. (Anyone thirsty? Recipe here.)

When a person becomes empty, their personal and work life will begin to suffer. Stress, if not dealt with can lead to depression and danger. According to Shoshana Korbin a Marriage and Family Therapist in Walnut Creek, CA, there are 9 signs that stress has become dangerous:

• Insomnia
• Obsessive or irrational thoughts
• Limiting activities
• Thoughts of suicide
• Ongoing despair
• Withdrawal and isolation
• Constant exhaustion, minor illness or headaches
• Addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, work, or spending
• Extreme vigilance, irritation, or anger

To be the best Nanny for my sweet boys, I must be filled up and refreshed. I hope that you will read these points (my opinions) and find some ways to help reduce stress in your own lives before it would ever get to a dangerous point.

High5: Ways to Reduce a Nanny's Stress

You will notice that each of these 5 statements are VERBS. They require a choice that is followed through with action.

5. Live Your Priorities

I have expressed many times, that I live my life with purpose. When you can see growth and change around you, it will energize you to do the right things more often. In my car, when I unfold my sun-visor, there is a little piece of paper. A few years back I wrote down four things I would want to be remembered for. Someone who (1) loved God, (2) loved people, (3) was faithful and (4) giving. I hope that all I do, though it maybe misunderstood by others, will fall into these. I keep them where I see them often as a check for myself. Do you find yourself rushing and packing too much into your day? Knowing your priorities will also allow you to say "NO"...and that is a freeing thing.

4. Maintain your Health

This one is easier said than done. We all know to eat healthy, drink water, sleep enough, and exersize... but it seems to be hard to live this out and put ahead of other things in my day. Carve out time to eat properly, walk, swim, dance. Do what enjoy that also makes your endorphins happy. Reduce caffeine and sugar. Get into a routine of good habits. All of these ideas (along with the others you know of) will be some of the great things you are bringing to the kids in your care.

3. Express Your Emotion

Holding in frustration, and anger is not healthy. Think of a way to release these: write it down just to get it out, have a hard conversation, look for answers, or make a new choice. Feelings are there for a reason, and we should accept, acknowledge and then act.

2. Live in Community

Surround yourself with supportive people to bring joy and fun to your life. Participate in play dates and Nanny Night Outs. You will be surprised how rewarding and refreshing a community - that gets you- is. Cuddle with your cat, or spouse. Go out on the weekends. Host a Glee party to watch the season finale (*hint, hint*). Schedule fun, or else you may not feel like it after a long work week.

1. Seek Peace

There is peace available in every day, but you must find it. At nap time, change your environment. Go to a dark room and close your eyes even for 10 minutes. Sit in the sun and breathe the fresh air. During your commute choose uplifting, happy music. Take a walk or a swim or a bath. I love to shop and get great deals, get a massage every so often, spend time at church. Whatever it is that calms and rejuvenates you, set aside the time, you are worth it.

[Quick Tip Tuesday] Nanny's Dream Blanket!

Quick Tip: Nanny's Dream Blanket

I am so excited to share my most favorite find for summer!!

One of my Nanny friends here in Cincy showed up to a picnic with this and I said "I MUST HAVE THAT". Practical, functional, washable, and colorful! In the few short months we have had it, we have gotten our money's worth. We use this for picnics at the park and school. We also use it in our yard to play games, rest have a snack. It is so easy to fold and zip into a bag and the boys love to carry it on their shoulders. It is waterproof, great for wet grass days. It has an outside pocket and can be thrown in the washer to clean! I could go on and on!! Don't you love it?

I found mine at Bed, Bath,and Beyond for $20, see online here. (Don't forget to use your 20% coupon that comes in the mail or newspaper.)